---
url: 'https://phastidio.net/2010/04/26/somali-pirates-say-they-are-subsidiary-of-goldman-sachs/'
title: Somali Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs
author:
  name: Mario Seminerio
  url: 'https://phastidio.net/author/phastidio/'
date: '2010-04-26T22:12:52+02:00'
modified: '2010-04-26T22:12:52+02:00'
type: post
categories:
  - Adotta Un Neurone
  - Archivio
tags:
  - Goldman Sachs
published: true
---

# Somali Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs

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### Could Make Prosecution Difficult, Experts Say

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA ([The Borowitz Report](http://www.borowitzreport.com/)) – Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today, revealing that their  entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant **Goldman Sachs**.

There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when the leader of the  pirates announced, “We are doing God’s work. We work for **Lloyd  Blankfein**.”

The pirate, who said he earned a bonus of $48 million in dubloons  last year, elaborated on the nature of the Somalis’ work for Goldman, explaining that **the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had  already shorted**.

“We were functioning as investment bankers, only every day was casual Friday,” the pirate said.

The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late 2008 **to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as opposed to pirates**, “plus to get our share of the bailout money.”

In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors  were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law.

“There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they  were, in fact, pirates,” one government source said. “But if they’re bankers, our hands are tied.” [More here](http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=743947b930).

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